Bad blogger wants to be good, will it happen?

By Isis Win

Something interesting happened after this past blog of mine. More than one person is following me. In fact, several signed in to read my writing. It makes me wonder and it makes me feel something new. I wonder what is it that I have those readers now. Is it that I asked for help? humility? I mentioning my upcoming adventure? LGBT or that I am a trans woman? Who knows and I doubt I will ever will get to know the answer.
The feeling? Well, I know well that knowing that some people have in interest in my blogs makes feel having purpose to continue doing it. How ironic because in the 90s and early 2K I was blogging in so many places, all different topics and stories and I knew having a pretty decent amount of readers but I didn’t feel what I do today. I continue blogging after a long “hiatus” because I have a mission about spreading the word, perhaps educating some, to understand, accept and embrace everyone under the LGBT umbrella. Something I understand should be happening at these times and particularly in this country where diversity has made the most interesting and prolific nation in history. However, it was not happening and only a few of us knew why. As well, the opponents reasons do not seem reasonable or reliable. Such as some of biblical extracts that in their eyes meant only certain people deserve the love and support of God, consideration, compassion, etc. I prefer not going into because it is a lost war. Now I know. However, yesterday I was visiting an old friend who is very christian and has been a devoted Bible student most of his life. We covered this topic only to end agreeing that the Christian message (Jesus) and al religions are exactly about embracing everyone. He as well, fails to understand this archaic attitude of some LGBT opponents and agreed that such interpretations used against us are out of context and poor.

I do no know about other bloggers but besides my intent to pitch in this LGBT movement, I write because that is my first love, I enjoy it and I am a communicator. As well, I know we need to address many things to better them off. Therefore, knowing being read does the trick, the contrary simply is a bad rap with a bad feeling. Isn’t it?

If I tell your how much I have invested in this battle for inclusion of LGBT in everything, whether sending letters (hand written), e-mails and calls to legislators, and corporations, you will think I am plain nuts. Sometimes I think that way myself. However, in the last couple of years things have been changing for better, regardless of how much we have to go. There is deep level of satisfaction in myself from knowing being part of this movement of change. That makes the effort of communicating – non stop about the same issues – worthy the effort. But there is so much more to life! We should occupy part of our time and effort to invest as much as we can afford – to address many other extremely important topics and make sure they change. Such as child and women abuse. The environment. We must pitch into providing resources to poor families, so their children can acquire an education and pursue college. Many states are incredibly successful with programs that provide musical, acting, even technical “shops” to keep the children busy with something worth it and enticing them to pursue a better lifestyle through their own effort. Without the participation of generous Americans, this would not happen. These schools present stats of heavily reduced numbers of student’s quitting before getting their high school diploma. That is an excellent result that on the long run makes the US a better nation. But higher education is another matter that requires a stronger and more massive investment from most Americans. It can be done in this nation where the impossible happens and history shows it every century.
Well, this blog is about my gratitude to those readers that signed in and as well, the peace of mind of knowing something I didn’t just a couple of days ago.

By the way about blogging, since the days I blogged last with these past 2 blogs, I noticed many changes in the navigation panel (Dashboard) to blog and have control about the blogger’s pages. Navigating already was not as “friendly” as needed by someone who are not well-educated about code, internet intricacies, etc. So now I find I need to relearn this process and simply said, it takes time away from other activities. I guess this is something to be expected in this ever and fast changing world of digital technology. However, give me a break!
I want to be a good blogger by posting more often and sharing with others things that trigger their interest. However, this only can happen when interaction between the readers and the blogger take place. I deeply believe this is the way to join the efforts to produce the needed changes that otherwise, ankylose everything else. So lets see if my timing – this time – is better because I know well, this is the right place for me and I just hope, for a long time to come. Thanks for reading me!

PS: One or two of my subscribers seem to be business >people<, not readers. Is that so? The Spam engine have removed about 1500 of them already!

Bad blogger is out of limbo now

 

Almost right after I published my lasts blog I received news from my “disappeared” friend. I received a short note letting me know she is fine and later she will write more since she is constrained of time at the time. Needless to say, I am relief knowing about her well being. I hope one day to know what happened to her during all this time. Of course, I will leave the mystery to you since who cares about very personal things. Although at times, I believe actually blogging, at least in terms of numbers, are about personal things. But that is very personal. As well, my friend wants me to continue blogging. I’ll see what the future departs for me in the next few months.
Now I will get a bit personal. Much more than ever before and I envisioned to do, ever before. However, the only reason for doing so, with what I am about to share, is because I am adventuring soon, into a totally unknown world for me and I am clueless as what I can expect. Further more, I lack the necessary judgment and knowledge to do so, but isn’t life about adventure as well? This adventure is more typical of what very young people indulge with. Older people – although – they do this type of traveling a lot, they do have known most of what is involved very setup before and they know what to expect. Am I too old for doing so? Time will speak for me. However, I can do it now and I know, waiting much more for something like this, will be a no-no in the no so distant time. It is not a big deal though. Thousands of people had done it for who knows how long but they know something that I do not know. Regardless, I will plunge into it.

A few years ago I moved from SFO Ca. I came to beautiful lushly VA to start a business while spending time with my little brother who was experiencing serious health problems (diabetes B). I never started the business due to a few reasons, being #1 that it was a no so good year to do so. 2008 when we were looking at a serious financial crisis – world wide, a potential second great depression, slow moving investments and massive unemployment. So, I have been improvising all these years and like so many people, facing something I never experienced before as this. A terrible problem due to poor cash flow. Humility (and gratitude for what I have) settled in place to manage. However, I spend time with my little bother although basically we were troubled getting along. My little brother passed away a few months ago. Therefore he is no longer the reason for my staying here. So, I am heading to warm Ca to start life again. I wonder how much of a good idea this is, since Ca still is deep in the unemployment department but they still have the nice weather, except fires and of course earthquakes. More importantly, Ca is a little more friendlier to LGBT people and I’ll shade myself under that umbrella. If lucky, I find me a job working in an advocacy organization in favor of the denied rights to us. But that is not the core of my blog.
I am preparing myself to purchase a large RV that allows me to live in it full time. However, I know nothing about them. In the last few weeks, I’ve been learning so much about the entire thing. Whether is easy to believe it or not, it takes loads of knowledge. Starting by what to buy with a limited budget as mine. Now I see RVs as a rolling on wheels boat. Rving in reality is a luxury that only people with dough can indulge with. Well, unless the case is  – that occasional holiday and either rent one or have a small one that requires much less maintenance and can be parked in the driveway or backyard. Not my case as I mentioned. I’ll be doing this journey along., My aim is to travel from the east to the west coast in it and start traveling Ca from the south to the north until I find my next place to settle. I am traveling with very limited resources so luck (and loads of common sense) must be on my side. If you tell me to be doing this, I will call it adventurous but nuts. Well, for an old lady like myself.
I do not see this journey like one of those adventures in which an old lady is about to explore unknown lands and the time of the Wild West. Today, doing something like this is much easier and accessible than it was a century ago. Not to mention, with the comfort of an RV? However, it comes with its risks. And as I said, ignorance can come with a price. Today I feel more prepared than a month ago, when I was concocting my plan. Now I am familiar with he laws in all states I will pass through. What to avoid when purchasing a used RV. That a 5h wheel will be better and easier to haul. Many of the known problems with RVs such as “hidden” water inside and more. However, I’ve never pulled one before so this will be a first. Since my truck (2000 F250, Super Duty – Super crew cab) is capable of hauling 12,500 lb max., I am limited to a smaller RV. Perhaps 29’ to 30’, unless I find an affordable super light weight with 2 slides. If you do not what that is, it is no more than an extension that you slide when parked,  giving you some extra room. One slide usually is in the living room/dinette and the other one can be the bedroom. I will need badly this second one to have a decent closet space where I could store more than my summer shorts and a tank top, if you know what I mean.  Although it is amazing how much space they have for a “home on wheels”, only the fancy ones have enough room for a “home like experience”. Not what is in my budget. A max of 10k out of the door. That barely covers an old one, such as 1990s and no fancy at all. It is so ironic that I could buy larger and newer for the same money and that is because there are many more large RVs and heavier than what my track can manage. So, I’ll get me what I can and hopefully I make a decent choice and not a hole in my pocket because otherwise, my journey will end before who knows.
Perhaps the only promising thing is that I’ll be documenting my trip as much as I can and as I go. However, I will be incommunicado. My laptop drive does not boot up and I doubt I will be able to reach WI-Fi from the road and inside of the RV with my desktop. I tried a new drive but Dell truly stinks. After I loaded the OS, I’ve not being able to access the net because I must find the needed drivers by hand and I am clueless as which ones – in the extra CD belong to what the communications devices need to connect to the net. A consultation to Dell to do so since I am out of warranty, will cost me more than I wish to pay for. Perhaps a new lap top will be best but since I am buying this RV, that is not permitted at the moment. So who knows if I’ll figure how to deal with this before my trip. If lucky, then I can post as I go and share my photos. Maybe some stories but doubt it since I am driving alone, therefore, just the driving will squeeze out of me most of my energy. Well,I am thinking about a slow driving – pulling so much weight – that probably will take me more than the previous 5 day trip to the west coast coast I’ve done 5 times before – by car. Maybe if I do not get so tired, I make a few stops to enjoy some of the places on my way. However, I will not go by the Colorado canyon in order to avoid the steep climb to Albuquerque, later entering Ca. I will travel south of them, passing near the Mexican border. A new route for me.
As you can see, I am excited (and scared!!) to do this crazy trip and I hope to make a fantastic experience out of this opportunity. I just wish to be better prepared but I am already set to leave no later than the end of June, when I have to return my place of living.
Frankly, I was not considering to share any of this because I am not sure I can come up with some goods for you to enjoy. But I’ll give it my best try and I hope not to disappoint anyone expecting something really good. Wish me good luck and if you have a similar experience or know about RVing, please share it with me. Thanks for reading me!

Bad, bad blogger asks for help in Honolulu!

Although I feel I am blogging exclusively for myself, I try to do it as much as I can. However, I’ve not been successful for a long time. So many things of daily life had taken priority leaving me no time and much less inspiration to share my views. The strange part is that I write almost every single day some. However, I do it for myself to exercise my mind and my way to view the issues of my interest. And there is so much of it! But it would make sense to myself but my few readers will be in blank. So I keep them to myself. Talking about readers, I have been struggling with one that regularly visited my pages, have something to say and we were almost on the same page. In fact, after a couple of years, we developed a regular visit (Skype) once a week and enjoyed each other souls, hearts and minds. We both knew to have developed a more than the on-line friendship bond. I know she cared for me and without doubt, I cared for her. However, a few months ago, I stopped hearing from her. I waited and waited for the longest to receive an update from her. My phone calls and messages were never answered. Equally my e-emails. I do not know what to make out of it because this is totally out of character for her. I am not aware that she had a bad feeling about myself at all. I tried and tried to reach her out and since I do not know anyone that knows her too, I have no one to reach to ask about her whereabouts and well-being. She lives in Honolulu, Hawaii. I do not know anyone there. However, I called several organizations that knew about here, talked to someone that knew who she is, left several messages to others and in all cases, asking the them to locate her. I begged them too to let me know about their findings. No reply up to date and the >No knowing< is a damn killer of the spirit. This is part of my lack of inspiration, perhaps apathy to continue blogging. If someone happens to read this silly . . . . whatever! And happens to live in Honolulu, I will appreciate if you help me to to find out what happened to her. I refuse to believe she is no more or unable to reach me because I know pretty well, she would be in this very same place if I would suddenly disappear. Once again, the no knowing is much more than I can chew.

I will not include details of my friend here but if your compassion for my anguish entice you to help me, please send me a note through WP and I’ll share what you need to know to help me. I will be eternally grateful to the kind soul that helps me. Thanks for reading!